Microsoft Troubles. Shoot!

The weirdest thing happened this morning. I got up at 5 a.m. as usual to get in an hour of writing before work, and Microsoft Work didn't open. I'm not talking about individual documents, but about Word itself. Deleting my Normal.dot templates (occasionally become corrupted) had no effect. The problem resolution functionality finally pointed out I had compatibility issues, which is odd, since the program worked perfectly yesterday. My troubleshooter's subsequent attempts to...troubleshoot made no difference. I've since checked Excel and Access etc., and none of them start. Forums have been largely unhelpful.

I'm miffed.

Now I have to dig around at home for my product key to try uninstall/reinstall, hoping it's merely corrupted. But how can all my MS Tools become corrupted at once? Then again, if corruption isn't the problem, I'm stumped. Has anyone else had this problem?

Grrr.

Five Rules Every Newbie Writer Should Know Before Putting Finger To Keyboard

Writers need to know all sorts of things. An experienced writer’s trove of wisdom certainly contains more than the five rules I mention here. Getting to that level isn’t a hard road, although it is a long one. Like every journey, you take it step-by-step. Rather than learning everything at once, concentrate on one new discovery a day. Once you have applied a principle a few times, it becomes a habit, and you can move on to the next item. Don’t misunderstand. Most authors struggle with these issues even after years of writing. Take me. I’m a “filter word” expert when I beta read for a friend. Yet when I turn my attention to my own manuscript, the blinkers go up.

I beta occasionally for new writers who have finished their books and are ready to query. Or so they think. Many of them are good writers with an extensive vocabulary, but they stand absolutely, categorically, definitely no chance of getting their books read by an agent until they master the basics. It's the equivalent of a new chef having an exquisite palate, but being in the dark about how to boil an egg.

Please read on if you believe you need to brush up on your writing 101.

Rule 1: Characters do not frown, sigh or smile words. They can do one or the other. Just for laughs, try to smile the word “robot” and you’ll see it doesn’t work. To attribute dialogue to a character, use “he said”/”she said,” beats, or nothing at all. Attributions you may use are actions (“He frowns,” “She runs a hand through her hair”), emotions (“My stomach roiled”), or voice cues (“Her voice was tinged with bitterness”). Mix it up. Beats belong in the same paragraph as the associated dialogue. Do not mix dialogue from one character with the action of another character. Finally, if you use no attribution at all, make sure the reader knows who’s talking.

Impossible: “I love it,” she smiled. “It’s great.”

Better: “I love it,” she said. “It’s great.”

Even better: “I love it.” She grinned like an emoticon. “It’s great.”

Or possibly: “Hotdammit, I love it. It’s fan-tas-tic.” [No attribution needed if it’s clear who’s speaking.]

Confusing: “I love it,” she said. “It’s great.” He shook his head.

Rule 2: Avoid “as," because it will get you into trouble. “As” signals a simultaneous action of equal duration. The word is also often associated with a cause/effect reversal. There are places where “as” works, but it’s simpler to just avoid it. (Please note: this does not apply to "as" when used to mean "because" or to indicate a comparison etc.)

Impossible: He fell as he ran down the stairs. [While he was falling, he also ran down the stairs? And running down the stairs took as long as the falling? Quite some feat. Also, readers feel more comfortable if the character runs before he falls.]

Better: He took two steps at once and didn’t spot the toy soldier until it was too late. With an ear-rattling scream, he crashed down the stairs.

Rule 3: Dangling modifiers are a pain in the butt for everyone, especially for editors. Not all are easy to spot. First things first. What is a modifier? A modifier is a word or a phrase that modifies an object, usually the subject of the sentence. Why “dangling”? This refers to the problem where the modifier and the subject don’t match, i.e. The modifier is left hanging.

Impossible: I ran at full-out speed. Turning the corner, a lamppost came into view. [Implying the lamppost turned the corner].

Better: I zoomed around the corner. A man in a suit leaned against a lamppost, pretending to read the newspaper in his hand.

Rule 4: Your characters experience a wide range of emotions throughout the book. Know when they are important. In many cases, a simple “I froze” will do. The short sentence gives the reader a quick impression, but it won’t trip him or her up. In key situations, you want to milk the emotions. Ram them home.

Not enough:

The man leaped out of the bush. I froze.

“Give me your money.” He jabbed a knife at me.

I fished my wallet out of my pocket. It contained the money I needed to buy my brother’s medicine. The man grabbed it and, without another word, scarpered down the street.

Relieved, I took a deep breath.

Better:

The man leaped out of the bush. My breath froze in my lungs. 

“Give me your money.” He jabbed a knife at me.

My hand trembled. It took three tries to pull my wallet out of my pocket. His eyes, cold and devoid of light, screamed at me to hurry up. My hand tightened around the supple leather. I’d worked hard for that money. Without it, my brother would go without medicine, possibly relapse.

“Give it.” The man ripped the wallet from my fist and bulleted down the street. Out of sight.

Oxygen rushed into me, lifting my diaphragm like the pistons of a V-12 engine. What was I going to do? I wiped a tear off my cheek. What the hell was I going to do?

Rule 5: Lose filter words. Filter words “filter” your characters’ experiences before they reach the reader. The most common ones are “see” “watch” “hear” “feel.” Instead of showing what's happening to your character, you’re at best showing your character telling the reader what happened. You are creating an extra layer through which the plot is “filtered.”

Filtered: I sat in the car, watching a couple cross the road. They looked in love. I even heard the man say those words to the woman next to him. I felt a delicate warmth rise in my chest. If only I could be loved like that.

Unfiltered: I pushed back into the seat of my Honda and sipped from my bottle. A man and a woman, both well into their fifties, crossed the road ahead of me. Fingers intertwined, their hands swung between them.

“I love you.” The wind carried the man’s affectionate words through the open window.

The woman laughed, but her twinkling eyes confirmed she felt the same way.

I took another swig. Perhaps the water would drown the ache in my chest. One day, someone would speak those words to me. One day, I would laugh like the woman had laughed, with my head back and love in my eyes.

One day.

Before You Submit - Word Formatting For Authors

Here you will find formatting aids to get your book in shape before submitting. During the revision and editing phase, it is not uncommon for certain formatting errors to sneak into your manuscript. Where, for example, do these additional spaces at the start of new paragraphs come from? Some of the problems might lead you to believe you have to slog through your three hundred or so pages and correct formatting faux-pas by hand. Not so. Quite a few of them can be addressed by familiarizing yourself with “nonprinting” characters. Use this quick check list in conjunction with Word’s Find and Replace function (Ctrl+H) to blast the little buggers into oblivion.

Remember to approve each occurrence separately. If you click “Replace All,” you might be setting yourself up for trouble.

[] indicates a space (i.e. tap spacebar once)

Remove additional space at start of a paragraph:

Find:             ^p[]   (i.e. ^p followed by a space)

Replace with: ^p      (i.e. ^p without a space)

Replace additional space before punctuation mark:

Find:             []?      [].      [],

Replace with: ?        .         ,

(em dashes and ellipses ARE followed by a space and punctuation mark, so be sure not to click “Replace All.”)

Replace en dashes (–) with em dashes (—):

Find:             ^=

Replace with: ^+      or       Ctrl+Alt+-      (hyphen on the number pad)

(em dashes have no spaces, except at the end of the sentence, where you type —[].)

Replace hyphens (-) with em dashes (—):

Find:             -

Replace with: ^+      or       Ctrl+Alt+-      (hyphen on the number pad)

(em dashes have no spaces, except at the end of the sentence, where you type —[].)

Replace dot dot dot (...) with ellipsis (…):

Find:             ...

Replace with: Ctrl+Alt+.

(ellipses have no spaces, except at the end of the sentence, where you type …[].)

Delete stray tabs at the start of a paragraph (in favor of indenting your paragraphs):

Find:             ^t

Replace with:           (i.e. leave box empty)

Follow this up by highlighting the entire text, then redoing the hanging indent.

Reformatting extra large spaces between paragraphs:

Highlight all text. Click on the “paragraph” tab and tick “Don’t add space between paragraphs of the same style”. Then click “OK.”

Replace double space with single space:

Find:             [][]

Replace with: []

You may need to carry out many more pre-submission edits (for example, replacing overused words with more exciting expressions). These can also be changed using the find/replace function, such as:

Overuse of names (e.g. Anna) in dialogue:

Find:             , Anna.

Replace with:           (i.e. leave box empty).

Find:             , Anna?

Replace with:           (i.e. leave box empty)

Overuse of “out of” when “out” will do (e.g. stares out (of) the window):

Find:             []out of[]

Replace with: []out[]

(Do NOT accidentally click “Replace All.”)

Overuse of “sit down”/”stand up”/”down on” when “sit”/”stand”/”on” will do (e.g. he sat (down) on the edge of the bed):

Find:             sit down

Replace with: sit

A pre-edit list containing commonly overused words and some suggestions will be added soon.

What is cadence?

What is cadence? I have no idea. I know it when I hear it. But I couldn't possibly define it. It's like a melody in your speech, a pattern that resonates pleasantly with you. You can spend hours laboring over a single sentence, hoping to hit the right note. You swap words, consult your thesaurus for synonyms, nix half of it, try again. All in search of that elusive quality.

Once you're satisfied with your sentence, you re-read your paragraph, and -- oh, horror! -- now the whole section sounds off. So you start again.

Five hours later you wonder if your writing was truly so bad in the beginning, or if perhaps you'd reached an impasse and were avoiding getting back to your story.

Aaaarrrgh!

Agent, editor or self-publish? Answer on a postcard, please.

With a finished book under my belt, a nearly finished second book, I have to give some serious thought to what to do with them.

DIVIDE AND CONQUER is slightly unusual in terms of story structure (prophesied heroes FAIL early on in the book and spend the rest of the time recovering ground) and character structure (think buddy movie, with two female characters sharing equal stage time, each with their own romance and plotline).

GUARDED is a more traditional paranormal romance, with vampires, werewolves, demons, the lot, where the heroine is a satyr.

As for their prospects, Guarded's pro is also its con. Despite a generous helping of plot twists, its more traditional setup makes it a good candidate for agents. To place something off-mold like DIVIDE AND CONQUER, an acquiring editor might be a better bet, because agents prefer to play it safe.

I have recently found out you can make more money by self-publishing. Especially since whatever happens, most of the promotional burden will be on you anyway. If your book is very good, you won't have to share profits with agents or editors. If your book is average, again, financially you'll be better off going it on your own. Because nowadays, readers will still buy what they're going to buy. They care little if you had an agent or not.

You can buy your own cover art and hire your own editors for a few hundred bucks, and hope to recover your costs through book sales. Many authors do.

So why would I even want an agent or a publisher? It's not the advance, because most writers don't get one. The royalties will be reduced, because everyone gets a cut. But agents and editors provide valuable services for their fees. Agents help you tweak your manuscripts, use their contacts to place your book, and are generally in your corner. Editors -- hey, the clue is in their job title. They will edit your work to a level you may not achieve yourself. They also give you cover art they know will sell your book.

But for agents and editors, this is about more than the quality of the writing or the book in general. It's about predicting trends, being brave or playing it safe, and a personal connection to the book.

I can only go by the comments I've received from beta readers and anonymous judges, but they seem to dig my writing, and they seem to dig my style. Many have provided their email addresses in their score sheets to let them know when DIVIDE AND CONQUER will be released. They alone do not a readership make, but it's a start. And a confidence-builder.

My preference? Just as some girls dream of the perfect guy and the perfect wedding, I've always dreamed of the perfect agent and the perfect editor. So for now, call me old-fashioned, but I want to give the traditional method a try.

Picking my next project

I finished my latest book, DIVIDE AND CONQUER (Woot!), and I'm faced with the task of picking my next project. Trouble is, I have around five different early chapters lying around. They all have something that draws me to them. One has an adorable character who's both funny and so, so hot. But it's a little weak on plot. Another has a pretty cool premise, one which I've toyed with, in one variation or another, for years. And so on.

One thing I have learned: plot is overrated. I like my plots simple enough to follow, but full of twists and turns. But aside from trying to stuff such volume into a synopsis, let alone a query letter, not many people seem to enjoy a plot-heavy book.

Also, nearly everything needs to have romantic elements nowadays, and good luck finding a pitching event for editors who accept books that aren't straight romance.

So, I need a story with engaging characters, high stakes, a steaming romance, which is light on plot. Simple, righ? None of my half-started books contains all these elements, so I'll have to start considering merging one or two. Not ideal, but we want to give the readers what they want, don't we? After all, they're the ones buying the books.

To Enter Or Not To Enter. There Is No Question.

Have you entered any writing contests or dithered about doing so? The only thing you have to lose is the entry fee. But in most cases, your money is well spent. There are many reasons to enter contests, both legitimate and slightly underhanded.

Credentials. - Winning or finaling in a contest may not sway an agent or editor in your favor when they read your query, but it won't do any harm either. At the very least it will go some way to persuading them you're taking your craft seriously.

Confidence booster. - Even if you don't win or final, the comments you will receive will be encouraging, even if they're critical. Now, granted, not everyone who signs up to judge will be constructive, but they're the exception to the rule. I've had some people give me the full score, 100/100, while others judged my entry at 46. It stings, but if you think about it, it's fair. Not all readers are going to love your story. The 46er is not the person I write for. The judges may not necessarily read in your genre anyway, and find vampires silly or historical romances unbelievable. So at worst, low scores tell you you're either not quite there, or that your judge isn't a fan. We can live with that, right?

Overcoming your inner saboteur. - Many of us have an inner saboteur, preventing us from taking that step to greatness. Well, maybe not greatness, but I have been known not to send my manuscript even if requested, because I'm too scared of putting myself out there. It's illogical, but there you go. And yet, I've come a long way already. Before I started entering contests, I was too afraid to even let my baby leave the house. I'd share glimpses with someone, at most a chapter, but no more. After the first contest, I started growing an extra layer of skin, and I'm getting ready to send in my first full now. Seriously. I will.

Feedback. - The more contests you enter, the more you'll be able to hone your first few chapters. While your query and synopsis are the equivalent to a fancy suit and a nice smile, your first few chapters are your portfolio. They show the agent or editor what you can do. So the best you can hope for is lots and lots of criticism and comments. You don't have to act on each of them, but consider that, if one person is bothered by a particular issue, others, perhaps even the agent, may be bothered, too.

Snagging a contract. - Should you win or final, a judging editor or final may ask for a partial (usually the first 25 pages or three chapters) or a full. In that case, give your manuscript a quick once-over, and send it. A few people really do find representation or a publishing deal this way.

Idea tester. - This is one of those less legitimate uses, but some people use contests to test-balloon new ideas. This isn't what these contests were designed for. Why should people give their time to read your entry and comment when you're not taking your pages seriously? When the product you enter isn't polished and edited? On the other hand, the relevant organization puts on these contests for the entry fee, so theoretically, as long as you pay up, they can't really complain.

I hope I've convinced you to give it a go. It's scary putting yourself out there, but it's worth it. And, hey, your entry will be anonymous anyway.